I Choose Thankful...

You know, emotions are a choice.  Of course they are all innate and we feel them constantly, but it is a choice to act upon them or handle them or even suppress them.  Part of taking on this Orange Rhino Challenge is learning how to handle my frustration, anger, and irritation in a way that is constructive to myself and those around me.  Rather than feeling irritated and blowing up, I take a deep breath and can evaluate the situation to figure out if it is really worth getting irritated by.  Most of the time, it isn't.  One of my focal areas in my prayer life has been asking God to help me to refocus myself on the things that matter.  Forget about the little things that add up or fester into big things that have no eternal value... I want to focus on what matters in my spiritual life and in every other area of my life.  Today, He gave me a glimpse. 

We left the house almost 20 minutes later than normal because the alarm clock's volume had been turned down to 0.  I am not sure who did it, but my guess would be those cute little chubby fingers that play with it every chance they get.  Either way, I woke up late and that put our whole morning schedule behind.  It's okay, no frustration here... Jayden got dressed fairly easily for Joe before he had to head out.  Peyton woke up as I was getting him dressed without argument or fuss.  They were both easy going with getting breakfast, putting on shoes and coats, getting into the car, etc.  Our morning was very smooth beyond the fact that we were 20 minutes behind schedule (just a minor detail, right?)

As we got to preschool, I prepped the boys and told them that we needed to walk quickly into school so Mama isn't any more late to work.  Then God must have had a chuckle and decided it was time to help me see the wonder and amazement of being two... the little things that we forget as we "grow up".  First, we heard an owl and had to search high and low to figure out where it came from.  Peyton thought he saw it on top of a house, Jayden couldn't find it anywhere, and I think it was in a tree.  Then, we started to walk a second time and stopped to look at the great big moon.  It was probably staying out to see the boys' smiles (from the book On The Night You Were Born), so we stopped for them both to smile at the moon.  Then we tried walking for a third time, but a medical helicopter flew overhead.  Again, we had to stop for Jayden to watch the helicopter and note that it was flying very fast.  It's okay, let's go boys!  Nope, we had to run and stop at each of the motion lights on the side of the building.  They couldn't figure out why the lights weren't turning on when they stopped in front, and my explanation that the sun was already up did not suffice for them.  Oh wait, check out that soccer ball out in the field!  Then the book fair is still set up in the lobby!  So many great things to check out and wonder about!  How we ever made it into their classrooms, I do not know but it was a very wonder-filled morning for my little boys.  Rather than be frustrated at how late I was going to be for work (I made it on time, by the way), I decided to stop and "smell the roses" with my kids.  I chose to enjoy their company for those extra few minutes and appreciate them.  Then, God reminded me to be thankful...

Be thankful that my kids can both hear such amazing noises as an owl or a helicopter.  Thankful that my kids both have great vision and can see the moon, fast helicopter, and soccer ball off in the distance.  Thankful that my kids are both healthy enough that they were not on that medical helicopter.  Thankful that my children have strong muscles to run and stop at the motion lights or try to get the soccer ball.  Thankful that my children love to read and chose to stop to see the book fair rather than walk right on by.  Thankful for all that He has blessed me with in those two little boys and more...  While I am still a work in progress, I am thankful that God has chosen to start answering my prayers and helping me refocus on what is important. 

Maya Angelou said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  I want to be sure that my actions always make my children feel important, feel valued, and feel loved. 

New Year, New Me

As you can tell from my lack of posting, I fell off the "Orange Rhino" wagon some time back.  It seemed like I have been very good at rationalizing why I needed to yell or blow up at situations.  Once I calmed down, I would feel guilty as all get out and apologize to my target (it wasn't always the kids).  However, I knew the damage was done.  I am very familiar with the story of the little boy hammering nails in the fence...  I do not want anyone to think of me as the grumpy chick who yells all the time.

Therefore, my New Year's Resolution for 2014 is to jump back into the Orange Rhino Challenge and be successful!  I know I can do all things through Christ and when I put determination behind it.  Therefore, starting right now... I AM AN ORANGE RHINO once again!

Hugs

Just before bath time, Peyton was having a melt down and not wanting to listen. He kept saying things like "I'm going to hit you" or " I am not going to listen to you."  In a stern (but not yelling) voice, I said "Do you know what I want to do to you?... Hug you" He just kind of stared at me for a minute. I got up to put his clothes in the hamper and he wrapped himself around my leg. He held on and hugged me for all he had. This is why I've taken this challenge and this is why I'm not giving up!!  It was so awesome!

Holding In a Yell

I just read an awesome blog entry from the gal who started this entire challenge.  It made me laugh and it also helped bring some things into perspective.  Therefore, I wanted to share it with all of my friends and family who have joined me on my Orange Rhino journey.  :)  Enjoy!

Learning To Hold A Yell

A Bumpy Ride...

It has been a week since I wrote my last blog.  The honest response is that I have done a little bit of yelling, but it was nothing like before.  When I did yell, it wasn't extreme or even very loud but it still made me feel bad.  I can count on one hand how many times I've yelled in the last 7 days.  Some may call this rationalizing, but it is what it is.  My goal is to do no yelling, and I know that I will get there. 

There have been daily, multiple trials by one or both of my children.  Rather than get frustrated, I look for alternative methods to redirect them and stay calm.  Singing and dancing like a fool works really well.  Jayden usually joins me and Peyton tries his best not to laugh.  He usually tells me to stop dancing, but he also has gotten out of his spitfire mood.  Another strategy that I have found works very well with my kids is to grab their little cheeks, plant a big smooch on their faces, and say "I LOVE YOU" very loud.  I'm not yelling, but I am professing my undying love as a mom.  Sometimes Jayden will even respond with "I Luh Loo" and melts Mama's heart. 

Thank you to those of you who keep asking how it's going.  I appreciate your support and it always reminds me of my promise when you ask.  Often, those questions also come at the perfectly right time. 

Setbacks, Step Back

When I am introducing the primary program that I teach during intervention, we review the history of written language.  The students get to practice writing using logograms and then heiroglyphics (the first alphabetic system) before writing the same words in Roman English.  Then we have a discussion about how thankful they are that we write with an alphabetic writing system that is simpler than what the ancient Egyptians used.  In today's English writing, you can change letters to create entirely new words without having to draw new pictures or symbols. 

My Orange Rhino journey has been very similar to the discussion I've had with my students.  Yesterday, we had a set back when I yelled in a moment of frustration.  I was feeling quite upset with myself that I had done well for my first few days and then had a set back.  While I was laying down to take a nap with Peyton, I couldn't stop thinking about it.  Then I realized that rather than look at this as a "set back", I needed to use it as an opportunity to "step back" and reflect on what happened.  Nothing that happened was earth shattering or seriously devastating.  I was frustrated, Jayden threw more toys as I was trying to clean up, and then I tripped over a different toy when I tried to stop him.  Instead of laughing at myself for falling down, I got upset.  It was a culmination of frustration on my part that I let build up and come out as yelling.  Not okay with that! 

If I keep reminding myself to step back when I feel frustrated, I am hoping that I can be successful on a daily basis with this challenge.  By changing a couple letters in "setback" to create "step back", I am hoping the semantics will be a sufficient reminder.  My kids both know that I have taken this challenge, and I've given Peyton permission to remind me of it when it seems as if I am about to yell.  Hopefully this works...

God's Steward...

My daily devotional today was about how we are God's steward over our kids in the same way that Joseph was the steward over Potiphar's possessions.  In other words, our kids are God's children and we are in charge to care for them.  Again, this goes in line with the challenge I have accepted because I want to treat them better than gold. Reacting and yelling doesn't fit in that schema.  Today marks Day 3... I can do this!