A Bumpy Ride...

It has been a week since I wrote my last blog.  The honest response is that I have done a little bit of yelling, but it was nothing like before.  When I did yell, it wasn't extreme or even very loud but it still made me feel bad.  I can count on one hand how many times I've yelled in the last 7 days.  Some may call this rationalizing, but it is what it is.  My goal is to do no yelling, and I know that I will get there. 

There have been daily, multiple trials by one or both of my children.  Rather than get frustrated, I look for alternative methods to redirect them and stay calm.  Singing and dancing like a fool works really well.  Jayden usually joins me and Peyton tries his best not to laugh.  He usually tells me to stop dancing, but he also has gotten out of his spitfire mood.  Another strategy that I have found works very well with my kids is to grab their little cheeks, plant a big smooch on their faces, and say "I LOVE YOU" very loud.  I'm not yelling, but I am professing my undying love as a mom.  Sometimes Jayden will even respond with "I Luh Loo" and melts Mama's heart. 

Thank you to those of you who keep asking how it's going.  I appreciate your support and it always reminds me of my promise when you ask.  Often, those questions also come at the perfectly right time. 

Setbacks, Step Back

When I am introducing the primary program that I teach during intervention, we review the history of written language.  The students get to practice writing using logograms and then heiroglyphics (the first alphabetic system) before writing the same words in Roman English.  Then we have a discussion about how thankful they are that we write with an alphabetic writing system that is simpler than what the ancient Egyptians used.  In today's English writing, you can change letters to create entirely new words without having to draw new pictures or symbols. 

My Orange Rhino journey has been very similar to the discussion I've had with my students.  Yesterday, we had a set back when I yelled in a moment of frustration.  I was feeling quite upset with myself that I had done well for my first few days and then had a set back.  While I was laying down to take a nap with Peyton, I couldn't stop thinking about it.  Then I realized that rather than look at this as a "set back", I needed to use it as an opportunity to "step back" and reflect on what happened.  Nothing that happened was earth shattering or seriously devastating.  I was frustrated, Jayden threw more toys as I was trying to clean up, and then I tripped over a different toy when I tried to stop him.  Instead of laughing at myself for falling down, I got upset.  It was a culmination of frustration on my part that I let build up and come out as yelling.  Not okay with that! 

If I keep reminding myself to step back when I feel frustrated, I am hoping that I can be successful on a daily basis with this challenge.  By changing a couple letters in "setback" to create "step back", I am hoping the semantics will be a sufficient reminder.  My kids both know that I have taken this challenge, and I've given Peyton permission to remind me of it when it seems as if I am about to yell.  Hopefully this works...

God's Steward...

My daily devotional today was about how we are God's steward over our kids in the same way that Joseph was the steward over Potiphar's possessions.  In other words, our kids are God's children and we are in charge to care for them.  Again, this goes in line with the challenge I have accepted because I want to treat them better than gold. Reacting and yelling doesn't fit in that schema.  Today marks Day 3... I can do this! 

Bubble Guppies!

Day 1 was a success!  It came with challenges, but I was able to remind myself to keep my cool and both kiddos went to bed without stress or tears.  As I began Day 2 this morning, I found this picture on my Facebook wall.  I thought it was too awesome not to share!

My Journey Begins...

When I was a child, I spent a lot of time on weekends and over breaks with one of my friends.  We would take turns spending time at each other's house.  Whenever I was at her house, there was always a lot of yelling.  Her parents always yelled to get the kids' attention or at them, and her interactions with her sisters always involved yelling.  I remember coming home 95% of the time feeling exhausted and on edge at the high stress level that comes with yelling. 

As my kids get older, they are becoming more opinionated and have their own personalities.  Over the last month or so, I noticed that I was yelling at my children much more often than I would like.  My husband had even made comments about how much I was yelling at the boys. This broke my heart because my house had become like my friend's house that I didn't like.  I would nightly pray and ask God to provide me with guidance to be a mom of understanding, patience, and have a calm demeanor.  However, I was still yelling and feeling frustrated every day.  Continue praying Jami is what I kept telling myself...

During staff development on Monday, a colleague shared that she was participating in a program called "The Orange Rhino Challenge".  It started when she read an article called "10 Things I Learned When I Stopped Yelling At My Kids".  She said she's been doing it for over 30 days and has already noticed a difference in her home, as well as in her classroom.  I sat there with tears coming out because I knew that God was answering my prayer through an unexpected medium. 

Last night, I finally had a chance to read the article that my colleague mentioned.  My gut hurt after reading it because I could say "That's Me" for almost every bullet point in the article.  I made the choice as I was putting Jayden to bed last night that today is the day.  While it is a small victory, I chose not to yell this morning and both of my kids were happy when I dropped them off.  I am accepting the Orange Rhino Challenge and will put this in place every day in every situation.  I invite you to join me on this journey... Please join me either as an accountability partner or as a participant.  When you see me, please ask me how it's going or please tell me how it is going with you.  I will be placing orange objects around my classroom, my car, and my home to remind me when I feel like I am going to lose my cool. 

Thank you for following me and joining me on this journey towards being a "nice mommy" while also being a firm, consistent Mama.